I know our society is going through an egalitarian- like stage where mostly everything is supposed to be blindly respected with no merit and critical thought behind it, but when did people start becoming scared to truly speak their mind, for fear of being judged for not being openminded enough?…
That last panel though.
Anonymous asked: Daily routine Log on to computer Log on to tumblr check proberoo's blog Nothing new? boo =(
Sorry I actually did some things today. And I have work the next 3 days jsyk.
I feel as if my mind is regressing. I can’t tell if it actually is. Things used to come so easily to me, amazingly fast. I could learn a new subject by simply glancing at the key concepts. I was by no means a genius, no, but I felt intelligent. The only things that gave me trouble were the implications of the subject. But I suppose that’s the true bank of knowledge, knowing how to use what you’ve learned in real life.
And now when I meditate my mind fizzles out, it refuses to focus. I can’t find motivation in anything. I feel constant urges to do new things, to fix myself, to repair my mood and my life, but I won’t let me. Adding in the factor of my apathy towards everything, my outlook on life is very bleak.
This has surpassed being a matter of life’s problems and depression. The person I am inside can no longer tolerate the person I act as on the outside. They are in constant struggle. Maybe I’ve gone insane. If you were to ask me to talk about this, the outside would laugh and shrug it off as nothing. The inside would silently comfort itself that there’s no point in explaining, that silence is for the best.
Maybe I’m just getting old. I’m 22 now, and although the past 4 years of my life are a haze in my memory, years I’m not too sure I experienced, I can’t say I feel like that’s an appropriate age for me. I’ve always felt I was older inside, in some ways, in others of course I am still very much a 12 year old boy.
The internal struggle thing is taxing me, emotionally and thus leaking into my physical body as a result. Although I often want to beg for help, I don’t. There’re a myriad of reasons for it. I don’t want help. I know people can’t help me anyway, even if they wanted to. And this is why I’ve felt I’ve lived as much as I care to have lived in this world. There’s nothing I look forward to with excitement, my dreams and goals don’t extend beyond the day’s limitations. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say anymore, and that essentially strengthens whatever it is I wanted to say.
“Look outside. You see those stars? Even in a thousand million lifetimes, we will never get close to one. Yet, even so, each and every one of them has been seen and appreciated by every person who ever lived. The air itself is filled and recycled from every living creature that ever existed. The water you drink is the life of a dinosaur who reared its young, the air you breath is from a man whose breath was taken away by the morning sun. Never forget your passions. Never forget your calling. And never, ever, ever, in a million thousand years, forget who you truly are:
You are you, and in the end, in this crazy universe of infinite chaos and suffering and love and wonder, that small and tiny insignificant moment, the love that makes mankind strange and weak, is enough to move an emotionless blue god to tears. Never forget your stories.”
Did you know? If two people that love each other go to Tokyo U… hehe
Snowing - Pump Fake
I’d say no, or hope I could
but I still want you.